Women:
'Dark storm clouds were gathering over the Alpine mountain top as Emma finally reached the refuge. Where were the others? where was her husband Edward? (Have you ever noticed they're always named Emma and Edward...or something like that)Perhaps they had fallen behind and taken the safe track back toward St-Paul-des-Clercs (and why is there always some weird foreign thing involved, like architecture of some sort?) and civilization, she wondered. Well there was no point in panicking now. Night was falling fast, and she would have to spend it up here all alone at the mercy of these peaks. Exhausted, she entered the deserted cabin and barely had time to strip off her drenched clothes and slip into the thermal sleeping bag that Edward had thoughtfully give her for their sixth anniversary, before a deep slumber overtook her naked body.
As even the moon retreated from the inhospitable horizon, strange and fitful dreams came upon her. She tossed and turned in the night, her feverish brow victim to wild imaginings full of visions of werewolf-life creatures (and why is it always 'fitful sleeps and were wolves?') creeping around the cabin, circling, surrounding her with deep-breathing low whistles that seemed to hiss and crackle like FIRE!!! Emma opened her eyes and shrieked in the empty night. There, across the room, stood the tall, dark stranger. She held her breath in terror as he looked up from the fire he had lit in the wide hearth and stared at her inscrutably. His eyes seemed to contain worlds beyond her ken.
"Who-who are you? What do you want?" she cried. the man made no reply, but simply tossed another log onto the fire with barley a flicker of his powerful deep-veined forearm. (and why is he always 'powerful forearm'....why the forearm...why not bicep or tricep and why is he always silent and slightly ignoring of the female?) He breathed in deeply, closing his eyes. emma's voice was trembling.
"Look, now, I don't know what is going on but..."
He silenced her with a look from his piercing green eyes that seemed to cut right through her. (Cutting eyes.....really? they're ALWAYS cutting) Before she even realized what she was doing, Emma raced through the door in a mad dash for freedom, through the door and out into a thick curtain of rain lashing down over her exposed skin. (so what you are telling me is she ran out in the middle of a storm...naked....yeah that's healthy) He caught up with her easily, (of course) his stonrg arms grabbing her by the waist and hauling her back into the cabin. She writhed desperately in his grip until she could no more. He held her still, stared into her yes and finally spoke in halting English (foreign...right) in the manner of one who seemed above words. (What?)
"Don't. It is too dangerous out there for you. You are safe here with me." (why didn't you say so ass munch? instead of being all creepy and raper-ish)
And somehow she knew that this was so. (of freaking course)
The fire dispensed a warm glow to the room. before she had even recovered from the onslaught of the elements, she was trapped in an embrace as powerful as any of Nature's Furies. As the storm raged on outside, she stared into the infinite depth of his eyes. And then he was upon her, touching her deep within (yeah totally safe...but it's cool because she's totally going to be okay with a complete stranger touching her naked body while her husband is away apparently caught in a rain storm...yeah makes total sense) roughly of course but with infinte tenderness. Suddenly lightning struck a tree nearby, while its thunder covered her animal moans. He held her tight for what seemed an eternity, until the first light of dawn broke the enchanting spell the mountain Gods had woven around them. And he was gone, as swiftly as he had come. Was it but a dream? (why is it 'but a dream?' why isn't is just was it a dream?) Emma wondered wistfully, as she drifted off back to sleep smiling, her brow no longer troubled. (wtf...)
Men: Two blondes. Doing it. Together.
And that's all they have....now I have one thing to say...why are female romance novels like that? I read romance actually and there is a lot of stuff like that, maybe not to that corny degree in some but a lot of them have that whole 'he's a stranger that showed up but I'm totally okay with him grabbing at my boobs and I don't know why!' thing...it's just weird, and it works for us a lot of the time. I mean when I first read this story it was 'okay, this is okay I can see this being sexy.' but when you objectively look at if HELL NO, first I would be 'Hey Answer me! This is my cabin jerk wad!" And I wouldn't have run out into a random storm completely naked, I would have looked around for something sharp and told him to get the fuck out and I wouldn't have melted if he grabbed out of me I would have freaked! Not 'writhed desperately' but freaked out and started eye gouging, 'I'm Married Dude back off!' And where was the husband? There's a storm stop exploring your no good cheating women is being whisked away by a guy with huge forearms!! ...I picture Popeye personally. ..
I'm just wondering why that stuff works on us?
I guess it's just all the connection, women like all the connection they feel with there romance male character, sexual and sensual, and then they're all strong and you get that connection that he would die for you, plus the males lavish the girls with attention and women love that, a lot of women feel under appreciated, but i don't like the warped ways they've planted in our minds, making us think some things are socially except able or socially required, like flowers and chocolates.
Guys think women just want the flowers and chocolates, and women feel that if there guys doesn't get flowers and chocolates they're being under appreciated. Truth is Women don't actually want flowers and chocolate, they want what the flowers and chocolate symbolize, that their guy was thinking of them wanted to get them something that was special and that they would like to show their love, that the girl is special to the guy and he appreciates her and most people don't understand until they see visual confirmation through offerings of flowers and or chocolates. I don't know, I like flowers because whenever I see them I feel happier, and I like chocolate because it melts in your mouth and you can eat it slowly and appreciate how the flavor unfolds, but that could said the same of just good food, like a stadium hotdog you get...dear lord those hit the spot!
I feel for the guys on Holidays, I remember I was working in a grocery store one Valentines day and I was on the opening shift-I was looking down on the store in the break room when it first opened and there was already a line of guys holding the first roses and white and red teddy bear holding candy they could find.
Women want the 'magic' that the candy and flowers are supposed to provide, the want the 'romance' of the moment.
Romance - is a moment in time that if they could, a women would make it last forever; now it might only be one moment, or many put together, or many spread out but it's those moments that are romance. And it's showing that you care, and will protect her always lol. I just don't like how it's warped into weird strangers in the night with Popeye arms holding your 'writhing' naked body. huh....but whatever gets your jolly's off I guess...
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